A while ago my husband fell sick and as a treat I promised to buy him his favorite pasta for dinner. The place that makes the pasta actually allows you to pick the ingredients of your pasta by telling the chef as he cooks what to add. Therefore it all depends on what you pick and how cooperative the chef is.
As I queued in line to order the pasta I noticed the man in front of me having a hard time ordering his pasta because it seemed the chef was really uncooperative with him. He asked for a number of additions to his pasta and the chef just seemed not to give him what he asked for. So at the first glance I assumed the chef was being nasty but as I closely observed the man was actually making horrible remarks to the chef and was still insisting on adding more ingredients to the pasta despite his unkind behavior.
Initially I assumed that the chef would treat me unkindly too since it clearly seemed he was not in a good mood and that I would end up with a lousy pasta. Then I shifted my mindset. I put myself in his shoes and imagined if I were him. The chef may have been going through a bad day, his job my not have been giving him what he needs, maybe even he was going through some family problems. On top of that a customer was being unkind to him. Why would he go the extra mile for someone like that. I did not know the man but for all I knew he was the one in need of kindness and I wanted the perfect pasta for my husband.
As I started the order, I asked the chef how he was doing. I asked and asked kindly about the way the ingredients were prepared and praised the chef for ensuring its freshness. I ensured the man had a smile on his face before I began my order. The chef just went over and above the expected when it came to preparing the pasta I was ordering. That pasta was one of the best pastas we ever tasted and my husband really did get a good treat.
So what I realized is the following:
– Sometimes we expect certain results based on appearances but we can be wrong
– An act of kindness – even a smile – can go a long way
– People are nice but they need to be treated with respect before they show respect
– We can get a lot more if we only thought a little bit more about what others needed
On so many occasions I meet people who would tell me that their weakness is that they are perfectionists. I honestly find that many people agonize over this so-called weakness and they try to pin every hardship they go through in life on that one thing – perfectionism.
Well, I believe that perfectionism can be an advantage if used correctly. In so many ways I admire perfectionists because they care about everything they do all the way to the tiny details. They put so much effort into ensuring every single aspect of their work comes out spotless. That is a value that many carry and would be unhappy if they do not honor in their lives. I know that because I care about the things I do and I want them to be perfect – who doesn’t?
So for all those who believe perfectionism is a weakness, I would like to ask you if you have considered thinking of what makes being perfect a burden. Have you ever noticed that it’s mostly worry that creates the agony? The problem is not that we want things to be perfect but that we worry that they won’t turn out perfect. We worry about the outcome before we even embark on a project. We worry about what people will think. We worry about what we will get if we make it or what we will lose if we don’t.
That is sad. We are compromising the quality of life by worrying about it. Rather than celebrate perfectionism for what it can create in our lives we dismiss its advantages by labeling it as a weakness and all because we worry about an uncertain outcome in the future.
Let us then set things right. I invite you to celebrate perfectionism without worry. I wonder what beauty may come out of this.
I got picked to be Captain. Wait, but I’m not a good runner and I never win during sports day, so why did they pick me? That was the question I had in my mind when I was in year 6. What made the teacher pick me as captain of the yellow team? Why me? I really was a slow runner and sack race was my worst nightmare. Don’t get me wrong I like sports, just not the ones that did not involve chasing a ball like football or basketball. I knew my capabilities and what I was good at but I didn’t know what my teacher knew. Of course me being me, I asked the teacher because I needed to know. Her answer just left me even more confused. Only several years later did I understand what she meant but at the age of 11, I did not get it when she said “you have what it takes”.
She was right!! Being captain is about leading a team. The responsibility was not to personally win a race but more of ensuring the entire team achieves the best results. The captain was responsible for motivating the team, choosing who gets to run during the relay race i.e. resourcing and standing in front of everyone to accept the victory or defeat of the team. It was about ownership and character. That’s why she picked me. It was not because I can run the best but because I can motivate the best runner to run even harder. That teacher knew the traits of a leader and I think she taught me well.
To have what it takes to be a leader, you must:
1. Put yourself in your team’s shoes.
3. Take ownership but give credit.
4. Motivate and encourage potential.
5. Believe in yourself and in your team.
And so with this in mind I leave you with a simple question, do you have what it takes?
When I first started the course with CTI Dubai I wasn’t sure what to expect. All that I knew was that I was following my heart. I hardly stopped to think twice about joining. I rather went ahead and planned my trip so that I can be there for that course on time. I still remember the first time I heard about the course and how I couldn’t wait to share the details with my husband, family and friends. At the time I really did not know much about what the course entails other than what was there on their website but I went anyways. It changed my life.
The first day was like a dream. It was like I had finally found myself. I was in the right place. It was not an easy day but the feeling was right.
Towards the end of the first course I felt that I was a changed person and I could tell the difference in my behavior. I made up my mind that I should continue with the program and that I was destined to fulfill this dream.
Within the next couple of months I registered for the next course. I was convinced more and more now that this was the right thing to do and I found myself embarking on this journey non-stop.
I started meeting clients after the second course and I couldn’t stop enjoying the feeling of being able to help people. It was fascinating to meet and get to know so many different personalities and very self-enriching. It was along the journeys of my client’s self-discoveries that I began to discover a lot about myself as well. That’s when I began to really appreciate what I was doing.
Then I started wondering why could that have happened now? And why did I not feel like this before with any of my other jobs? What was that ingredient that was missing in my past years?
The answer was staring me in the face. It was passion. I had finally found something I was passionate about. Something that made me feel like I was alive while practicing it. Something that reminded me of my nature as a human being and which allowed me to live in accordance with my personal values.
Indeed it is passion that drives us to enjoy the ride. It is that same passion that makes us continue on a journey or change it completely. Once it is found, our lives begin to have a meaning. Our life purpose begins to get defined. Life will always include difficulties but these hardships become sweeter when we are passionate about what we are doing. When we know where we are heading and we actually want to go there, we will get there happier.